Divorce tends to follow trends, especially when it comes to the reasons why people are filing as societal expectations and views shift with time. One current trend is centered around the increasing phenomenon where married moms handle all aspects of family life, parenthood, and relationship maintenance while their husbands do effectively nothing. Perhaps to no one’s surprise – other than their husbands’ – these “married single moms” are filing for divorce at a growing rate across the country.
At The Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr., LLC in New York, our attorneys have already helped or heard from near-countless women who want to end their marriages because their husbands refuse to participate in the relationship. In two recent TikTok posts from Attorney Dennis R. Vetrano Jr. and Attorney Kristen D. Farris (see the embedded videos below), they share some of their insight into this growing divorce trend. The question that comes next is: “Are you a married single mom who is handling it all in your marriage?”
What is a Married Single Mom?
A "married single mom" is a married mother who feels as though she is single because her husband does not contribute to household or parental responsibilities, leaving her to manage everything on her own. This massive disparity in responsibilities often leads to heightened stress and exhaustion as she balances both her professional obligations and the many tasks involved in running a household while also raising children without any meaningful support from her spouse.
A “married single mom” might have to take care of everything on this list and more without any help from her husband:
- Preparing meals
- Cleaning and tidying the house
- Doing laundry and ironing clothes
- Grocery shopping
- Helping children with homework
- Bathing and dressing children
- Managing family finances and bills
- Driving children to and from school or extracurricular activities
- Coordinating medical appointments and healthcare needs
- Planning and hosting family events or gatherings
Signs Your Husband is a “Man-Child”
A "man-child" is an adult man who behaves more like a child than a responsible partner, often exhibiting behaviors that reveal a lack of maturity and responsibility. Many "man-children" start off appearing normal and willing to contribute to a relationship, but gradually expose their true intentions of using weaponized incompetence—deliberately performing tasks poorly to avoid doing them—once the relationship has been cemented, such as after becoming a husband and/or father. Importantly, it is not the wife's fault for failing to recognize the signs of "man-child" behaviors before marriage or parenthood, as these traits often become apparent only when it is more difficult to address them, so you should never blame yourself if you feel like your husband is being a “man-child” lately.
Signs that your husband is acting like a man-child may include:
- Lack of participation in household chores and childcare.
- Dependence on you for basic adult responsibilities.
- Prioritization of personal hobbies over family needs.
- Emotional immaturity or intentionally childlike reactions.
- Avoidance of important discussions and decisions.
- Inability to support you emotionally, financially, or practically.
Raising a “Man-Child” is Exhausting
Being married to and effectively raising a "man-child" is exhausting because it places an undue burden on the wife to manage not only the household and childcare responsibilities but also to compensate for her husband's lack of maturity and participation. This dynamic forces the “single married mom” into a constant state of overwork and stress, as she juggles being both a partner and a caregiver to an adult who should be a supportive equal. Many women in such marriages find divorce to be a massive relief, as it removes the need to care for an additional "child," allowing them to focus on themselves and their actual children without the constant frustration and resentment of an uncooperative spouse.
Filing for Divorce as an Overworked & Underappreciated Mom
Overworked and underappreciated moms can file for divorce to relieve themselves of the stress caused by being married to a deliberately unhelpful husband who unfairly wields weaponized incompetence. This trend of “married single moms” finding liberation through divorce has been increasing not just in the U.S. but around the world in recent years. If you feel like your husband will never help you with parental and household responsibilities, the first step toward a brighter tomorrow is recognizing the need for change. The next step should be consulting a divorce attorney to get guidance that understands what you’re going through as a mom in such a difficult situation.
The Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr., LLC proudly helps "married single moms" start a new, happier chapter by divorcing their husbands, whether they are called “man-children,” noncontributors, or whatever else best describes their frustrating approach to marriage and parenthood. We offer compassionate and strategic legal support to help you transition into a more balanced and fulfilling life that will likely even benefit the happiness and overall well-being of your child. By appreciating both the emotional and practical aspects of divorce, we’re here to lead you through divorce with confidence.
Call (845) 605-4330 or use an online contact formto learn more about our family law and divorce services in New York.